A few months ago, my husband and I received a startling message from a friend with a chronic illness. They requested that we visit them that day or the next, for about 45 minutes, without children. We prepared our hearts for whatever we might hear. The suspense was weighty; even through pleasantries and catching up, our hearts were heavy until our friends announced that they’d invited us over to tell us that they’d gotten engaged! They hand-delivered a beautiful invitation and asked us to be part of their special day. That wedding, and another significant family wedding around the same time, sent me back to my time as an ethnomusicology…