When our son TJ was a young child, my husband and I visited my graduate school mentor. As he watched our son totter around his office energetically, he said to me, “Lisa, you’re a psychologist now, trained in personality theory and behavior. Let’s see you control that child!” My mentor was, of course, teasing. But he was also reminding me that children come with the developing ability to act for themselves; and we, as parents, have the opportunity to help nurture their ability to make good choices. In our capacity as leaders, and in our roles as parents, we are constantly faced with decisions about encouraging or restricting the agency…