I have been having moments of melancholy recently because of what has been happening in the country. COVID, the election saga, and other world issues take their toll on a person. There are times when it overwhelms me. I realize that I have been leaning on my own understanding (really dumb). So I have taken to reading material about the Savior and learning of him in my scriptures and other books I have in my library. One of those books is titled The Redeemer: Reflections on the Life and Teachings of Jesus the Christ. It contains essays written by several different authors. I have also started bringing a journal to sacrament…

For the last week or so, I have woken up every morning feeling depleted. I am able to go about my work and accomplish methodical and thoughtless tasks, but those that require deep thinking seem overwhelming. It is almost as if my brain has decided to put itself to neutral and is just going to stay there. One day I was moving through the world reasonably well, and the next day everything just felt like too much. That is probably because everything really is Too Much. I don’t think that feeling is in my imagination, (it really is too much, isn’t it?) or that it represents a failure of character…

I recently met with an old college student of mine, Emilia, who asked for my help. She’d met three families in her Spanish-speaking ward in Utah who didn’t have money for Christmas gifts for their children. These families recently immigrated to the United States to seek refuge from dangerous and war-torn countries. They gave all they possessed to journey to safety, leaving nothing for the holidays. Emilia asked if I could contribute presents for one of the five-year-old girls who was hoping Santa would visit. I sat across from Emilia in awe, wondering why she felt responsible for the welfare of these families. Emilia, an international student from South America,…

My senior year, I felt that the title of National Honor Society (NHS) Chapter President would go nicely on college applications, and I was confident I could win. Seven people ran for positions and only five would have official leadership titles; the winner of the most votes would be president. I was very confident and expected to win (oh to have that teenage hubris again). Not only was I not president, I wasn’t in the top five. When I saw the president was a somewhat awkward girl named Jessica, I knew something was wrong. Angry, hurt, and confused, I spent the entire day talking to the other NHS members trying…

Water has always been powerful imagery for me. There have been times in my life when I have felt like these words from David could be my own: “Save me, O God; for the waters are come in unto my soul. I sink in deep mire, where there is no standing: I am come into deep waters, where the floods overflow me.” (Psalms 69:1-2) During the most difficult times of my life, one word that has often come to mind to describe my experience has been the word “drowning.” The feelings of helplessness, suffocating, crushing weight pressing down on my chest, sinking deeper and deeper as waves of heartache, grief, or despair…

“The joy we feel has little to do with the circumstances of our lives and everything to do with the FOCUS of our lives.” — President Russell M. Nelson There are so many things swirling around in my life right now. We have gone through moving into a new home we have built over the last five months. We were without internet or cable for the first week. (It’s so much fun hot spotting off your cell phone during election week!) Unpacking, acclimating to the area, and attending a new ward. Having people in and out of your home amidst this COVID pandemic add to the challenge. We had a tithing settlement…