Sabbath Devotional :: Good Inspiration is Based upon Good Information

For a few months I have wanted to share a particular story with all of you, but wasn’t quite sure why. It is deeply personal so I wanted to be very careful in my telling. Then this week, I have felt pulled to write a devotional about personal revelation and things started to come together. As you will see, my story is an example of what NOT to do, but I also hope to share some of the wisdom that was granted to me as I worked through my weakness.

In this talk from the April 2018 General Conference, President Nelson said:

“…good inspiration is based upon good information.”

He delivered this line in the context of choosing his counselors in the First Presidency. But several paragraphs earlier in his talk, President Nelson also gave another great example of this principle in action:

“I have stood over a patient — unsure how to perform an unprecedented procedure — and experienced the Holy Ghost diagramming the technique in my mind.”

President Nelson already had decades of education by that point in his life. The inspiration he received in the moment was only available because of the years he had spent learning and training to become a physician. The power of the Spirit amplified his intellectual preparation and he was able to have a singular experience in which he saved a life.

This idea resonates deeply with me. I have always been a believer in gathering all the best possible information before making big decisions. I can methodically weigh pros and cons and have great confidence in my decision making abilities when I have the time and space to ponder and plan.

But when I became a mother, I found myself with a life where time and quiet space were rarely an option any more. I had a hyperemesis gravidarum pregnancy followed by the birth of a son with special needs who required every last bit of my physical, emotional, and intellectual energy. Sleep was elusive and parenting was intense. The addition of a younger brother two years later (following another harrowing pregnancy) divided my attention and I regularly felt anxious and unsure about the future. During this time my father, a family doctor, died of cancer, leaving me with less emotional and medical support.

It was during this painful time that I found some false medical information. This misinformation was propagated by a couple of unscrupulous doctors, then picked up and spread by conspiracy theorists. They claimed to have secret information that powerful interests were desperate to hide, and this secrecy somehow increased its value to those who believed.

At that moment I was especially vulnerable to this misinformation. My son’s overwhelming needs and my deep desire to find answers and solutions to his problems were all consuming. And most insidiously, this “information” offered a way to help save children like mine when no other professionals were able to offer clear or simple paths forward.

While I never fully agreed with the information I had found, it led me to doubt the advice of all medical professionals. Because I didn’t know who to believe, I soon believed no one. I felt alone and fearful that only I could discover solutions outside of the so-called experts. Again, my motives were loving and deeply sincere as I hoped to care perfectly for my precious children. But because my actions were grounded in false information, I was not able to access the inspiration I needed. Despite constant prayers, I wasn’t able to find answers, or even more importantly, peace.

I have since found both answers and that peace through a more balanced approach. Critically I discovered that truth almost never originates from a place of fear and anxiety. I have found doctors willing to partner with me in tackling my children’s health challenges. I trust that this medical training and years of professional experience is the “good information” I need and they trust that I have thought carefully and observed my boys’ behavior and symptoms such that I can provide valuable information/inspiration. With this sort of information in hand, I can make prayerful decisions about their health challenges.

This period of my life was extremely painful and filled with fear, but finding my way out of it proved critical to my emotional and spiritual development. I learned that while life is difficult and challenging and the Lord may not always be swift to provide every answer, he will always provide me with peace if I am willing to trust and make room for him.

Here are few of the insights I gained as I walked this path with my children.

1. Start from a place of faith. Not just faith in the Lord, but faith that we have built a wonderful human community on the contributions and wisdom shared by our brothers and sisters. Have faith that the majority of God’s children are good and have sincere desires to contribute. We enjoy medicine, technology, and countless other blessings because good people have added to our common welfare.

2. Seek out solid information from the best earthly sources. Those brothers and sisters have worked hard to set up systems that help us find credible (though not perfect) information. Leverage those sources and systems for your benefit. Don’t believe yourself above them.

3. Nurture a strong and lasting relationship with the Spirit. Just as in the story of President Nelson’s surgery, the Spirit can guide our finer movements. It can tell us what to subtract and what to add. It cannot tell us how to perform heart surgery if we are a pastry chef, but it can amplify our efforts, make weak things strong, and inspire us beyond what we can do alone. Trust that the Spirit will help you understand the finer points of things that you have put in the effort to prepare to understand.

4. Believe everything that the gospel affirms about the Lord’s desire to share truth. He works in openness. He shares his truths widely and freely. He wants us to have all the knowledge necessary for our happiness and salvation. He does not work in darkness or support those who do.

5. Use fear as a gauge. Even in the most challenging and trying of times, the Lord does not want his people to live in fear. He has given us the gift of discernment in order that we might judge righteousness. But those who would lead us or influence us through fear are not his agents. Look for sources of peace, hope, light and faith.

Those early days of motherhood were challenging and sometimes dark. But as I look back on them now, I mostly see the ways that my family was blessed and how clearly the Lord held us all in the palm of his hand. And beyond teaching me how to physically care for my three boys, I now know that he was teaching me even more important lessons about how to care for their souls and to help them find him in a complicated and confusing world. I feel such a deep and satisfying sweetness in my soul as I reflect on these hard-fought lessons.

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Photo note: I wrote this devotional from the beautiful Colorado “Never Summer” mountain range (pictured) while on a weekend getaway with my husband. My children are thriving, healthy, and happy, even in my absence. We have all come a very long way.