Are You Aware? The Same Privilege

This is part II in our “Freedom of Religion” Awareness Wednesday series. Read the other posts in the series here.

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Yesterday was the first day of fasting for the Islamic religious holiday Ramadan. I woke up this morning at 4:30 to prepare breakfast for my husband and my children who are old enough to fast. For 30 days, our Muslim-Mormon family will refrain from food and drink from sunup to sundown — approximately 16 hours a day by the end of the fast.

During Ramadan, I am always more acutely aware of the religious differences not only in my own household but between my family and the rest of the community we live in. Living in Utah, I always feel the necessity of justifying my marriage to ward members and other members of the Church. How did I, a practicing member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, end up marrying a Muslim man? I explain we both felt spiritual confirmation it was the right decision. I don’t know why I feel this need to defend my marriage. I don’t know why here, in Utah, I feel like my part-member household is so scandalous — particularly when it is likely the norm in most worldwide congregations — but I always feel hypersensitive that I am different from many other Mormon women. 

My husband and I lived for several years in a country where Christianity was not the dominant religion, and no one had even heard of Mormons let alone The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. In fact, the dominant religion was state-sponsored. The government paid to construct religious buildings and funded the salaries of religious leaders. The American in me felt uncomfortable with this practice. The concepts of separation of church and state and freedom of religion are deeply ingrained in my consciousness.

Moving to Utah, where our roles have reversed and I am a member of the dominant religion and my husband is not, has changed my understanding and perceptions of these constitutional protections.

Too many times, I have felt that for friends, neighbors, and even some family members, freedom of religion extends just to those of the dominant religion.

A few weeks ago, for example, I watched a broadcast of my local school board meeting. I was surprised to hear the school board begin with a prayer. I was concerned this act of religion (specifically, a prayer of the dominant religion) in a secular meeting was a violation of the Establishment Clause of the First Amendment. Just because I am a member of the dominant religion does not make me comfortable with that religion’s practices entering the public sphere. 

Sometimes I wonder if we are as cognizant of the religious freedom of those in the minority when we are the dominant religion as we are of our need for religious freedom when we find ourselves in the minority.

In fact, a Mormon and a Catholic family sued the Santa Fe Independent School District to prevent student-led prayers that reflected the practices of the dominant religion. These families did not want their children to be pressured into following the practices of the majority in Santa Fe (in this case, Baptists). Yet sometimes, when Mormons are the dominant religion, we seem to forget the religious freedoms of others.

I find myself hyperaware of the way my religion, or even Christianity in general, creeps into our secular lives in ways that many likely don’t even notice. For example, my children cannot eat school lunch every day because at least once or twice a week the meal is pork. The school district states its mission is to provide healthy meals to all children. Yet these meals exclude students from two of the major world religions, Judaism and Islam, as well as religions that encourage vegetarianism.

Christmas is my favorite holiday. I love Christmas and try to surround myself with all things Christmas. Celebrating this holiday can be a tricky balance in my family. My children, though, have developed my love for Christmas. They want to participate in all the Christmas-related festivities at school — parties, art projects, singing programs. Yet they also worry about hurting their father by participating in these events. I often wonder how many children are uncomfortable celebrating a holiday in school that is not part of their culture and/or religion. Do they feel pressured to participate to avoid being singled out as weird or strange?

I grew up in Utah County, and I have very shameful memories of students ignoring and even mocking children in school who were not part of the dominant religion. I remember clearly playing “cooties” with my friends and victimizing a classmate from India. When I moved back to Utah as an adult, I feared that my children, raised in two religions, would be the victims of similar bullying or just simply left out because they were different.

Since moving to Utah, my husband has made friends. He has friends from many religions — Christianity, Buddhism, atheism — yet in the 10 years we have lived here he has not made a single good friend who is a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. In fact, he and his friends often comment that as soon as members of the Church understand they are not interested in being converted, the LDS folks are no longer interested in them as people.

Just last week, during General Conference, Elder Gary E. Stevenson spoke to these fears. He quoted President Nelson:

“‘Occasionally I hear of members offending those of other faiths by overlooking them and leaving them out. This can occur especially in communities where our members are the majority. I have heard about narrow-minded parents who tell children that they cannot play with a particular child in the neighborhood simply because his or her family does not belong to our Church. This kind of behavior is not in keeping with the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ. I cannot comprehend why any member of our Church would allow these kinds of things to happen…. I have never heard the members of this Church urged to be anything but loving, kind, tolerant, and benevolent to our friends and neighbors of other faiths.’”

I have a testimony of the gospel of Jesus Christ. I am not ashamed of my membership in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I am grateful for religious freedoms that allow me and others the “privilege of worshiping Almighty God according to the dictates of our own conscience.” But I do wonder if sometimes we forget the part of the 11th Article of Faith that urges us to “allow all men [and women] the same privilege.” Whether we live where we are members of the dominant religion or are in the minority, we must remain cognizant of religious freedom not just for ourselves. If we truly subscribe to the belief that we are all brothers and sisters and children of God, then we will want those freedoms for all religions.

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Leanna Fry Balci is full-time faculty at Brigham Young University, teaching information literacy. She is the mother of four boys, ranging in age from 2 to 10, whom she is trying to raise bilingual, bicultural, and bi-religious.

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