Sabbath Devotional :: Christ-Centered Leadership: Examples from First Nephi
When our son TJ was a young child, my husband and I visited my graduate school mentor. As he watched our son totter around his office energetically, he said to me, “Lisa, you’re a psychologist now, trained in personality theory and behavior. Let’s see you control that child!”
My mentor was, of course, teasing. But he was also reminding me that children come with the developing ability to act for themselves; and we, as parents, have the opportunity to help nurture their ability to make good choices.
In our capacity as leaders, and in our roles as parents, we are constantly faced with decisions about encouraging or restricting the agency of others. I’m convinced that excessive efforts to exercise control can harm our relationships with those we are called to lead, including our children and family members. Striving to use inspiration, encouragement, love, and meekness rather than control is closer to Christ-centered leadership because this type of leadership honors agency.
The Lord encourages our agency
“Come now, and let us reason together,” he said (Isaiah 1:18). His atonement has never been about forced obedience or repentance. Instead, he pleads with us in a spirit of love and reconciliation to bring our challenges and weaknesses to him for help. In our dealings with others, the Lord expects us to act similarly. He asks us to use persuasion, long-suffering, gentleness and meekness, and love unfeigned (D&C 121:41).
In the early chapters of the Book of Mormon, Nephi repeatedly shows us what Christ-centered leadership looks like. In addition to the difficult tasks the Lord asked Nephi to accomplish, he was often required to lead his less-faithful older brothers. He did this by encouraging them to “be faithful in keeping the commandments of the Lord” (1 Nephi 3:16) and by using his language to persuade them that the Lord had good reason to request the things he did. Nephi reminded them of God’s power, that “he is mightier than all the earth” (Nephi 4:1), and that they did not need to fear when they were following the Lord’s commandments. Nephi “did exhort them to give heed unto the word of the Lord . . . with all the energies of [his] soul” (1 Nephi 15:25).
As Heavenly Father does with us, Nephi used his words to inspire and persuade his brothers to act in faith. He did not use his physical strength to enforce compliance. He didn’t try to manipulate or trick his brothers into helping. He was long-suffering in his attempts to remind them of their responsibilities and to encourage righteous obedience. This kind of communication is critical in Christ-centered leadership, as it honors and preserves agency and unites families in love and faith.
Setting the example for Nephi was his father, Lehi. Remember the beautiful description of Lehi’s communication with Laman and Lemuel following his dream of the tree of life? “And he did exhort them with all the feeling of a tender parent, that they would hearken to his words” (1 Nephi 8:37). We hear Lehi pleading for his sons to be obedient to the will of the Lord, his heart full of fear and love for his children.
Both Nephi and Lehi appear to have become emotional at times in their requests of Laman and Lemuel, but there is no record of Lehi telling his sons, “You will do this because I’m the prophet!” or “You’ll do things my way because I’m the head of this family!” He named a river and valley after them in hopes that they would be “continually running into the fountain of all righteousness” and “firm and steadfast, and immovable in keeping the commandments of the Lord” (1 Nephi 2:9-10). Lehi tried to turn their hearts to the Lord by reminding them of the Lord’s mercies and blessings.
President Nelson recently challenged us to become more familiar with our Heavenly Father’s communication with us. He described Satan’s messages as “loud, bold, and boastful,” while Heavenly Father “communicates simply, quietly, and with such stunning plainness that we cannot misunderstand Him.”
Christ-centered leadership is similarly quiet and simple, without attempts to force us or inappropriately influence us. His leadership style preserves our agency, allowing us to choose for ourselves. While inspiration, encouragement, love, and meekness are central to the Lord’s way of influencing others, these are not always successful. In spite of Lehi’s pleading and Nephi’s attempts to inspire them, Laman and Lemuel often made choices contrary to their father’s and brother’s requests.
The opposite of Christ-centered leadership — unrighteous dominion
While Christ-centered leadership honors agency, Satan’s plan — unrighteous dominion — is all about increasing our own power and control. Unrighteous dominion occurs “when we undertake to cover our sins, or to gratify our pride, our vain ambition [desire for power], or to exercise control or dominion or compulsion upon the souls of the children of men, in any degree of unrighteousness” (D&C 121:37).
When our goals are power and control, our agenda is fixed on our desires, not on the growth and progression of those we are leading. Sometimes it is difficult to understand what kind of behavior constitutes unrighteous dominion. Laman and Lemuel give us some apt examples.
While Lehi and Nephi sought to do God’s will, Laman and Lemuel sought to do their own will. Their “vain ambition” to govern the family (desire for power) and stubborn belief that it was their right to do so perpetuated hundreds of years of warfare with Nephi’s descendants. When Laman and Lemuel were approached by their father with a difficult task, often their recorded response was to murmur. This complaining was meant to get them out of something they did not want to do. A pattern of complaining may reflect a prideful attitude and a preference for doing what we want versus what the Lord wants.
Then, after the brothers made two unsuccessful attempts to retrieve the plates from Laban, they were angry with Nephi and spoke “many hard words” (1 Nephi 3:28). Their anger even escalated into physical aggression. It’s important to consider the purpose and effects of their angry speech. In our day, it’s impossible to miss the angry insults and jabs people trade with one another. Verbal tirades, name calling, mean-spirited put downs, and other forms of harsh speech are increasingly accepted and even expected as a natural part of our discussions, particularly in the realm of politics. However, it’s difficult to imagine the Lord using that kind of speech. Jesus had some strained words for those who resort to name calling, “Whosoever shall say, Thou fool, shall be in danger of hell fire” (Matthew 5: 22). In the Savior’s eyes, there is no excuse for talk like that. Satan, however, thrives on the disunity and contention created by name calling and insults. While we may think it’s funny to craft an adept put down, it’s no fun to be on the receiving end. We label the regular use of insults and name calling as bullying; and we don’t have to look hard to hear stories of children and adults who are deeply hurt by it.
People who are seeking power and control use tactics like name calling as a way to build up their own power by putting down others. “Splitting” is a natural way that our brains respond to complex information by oversimplifying people, beliefs, and actions as all good or all bad. Those who are seeking power and control manipulate this natural tendency. By disparaging a person or group and portraying them as the bad guys, they increase their own power and draw others to their side. It’s a deception that eats away at unity and creates a polarized us-versus-them scenario.
While this sounds like a description of our modern-day political climate, Laman and Lemuel were skilled with this strategy as well. They called Nephi a “fool” and talked about the “foolish imaginations” of their father Lehi (1 Nephi 17:17; 1 Nephi 2:11) in attempts to discredit them. In another example, while plotting against Nephi, they said, “Now he says that the Lord has talked with him, and also that angels have ministered unto him. But behold, we know that he lies unto us . . . he has thought to make himself a king and ruler over us” (1 Nephi 16:38).
Do you see the brothers craft the story in their favor, labeling Nephi as a power-hungry liar while they were the victims? This was a clear attempt to undermine Nephi’s leadership and authority and gain power and support for their own position.
Laman and Lemuel’s name calling introduced a significant element of contention, making the family’s difficulties more acute. Remember that the Lord has counseled, “[H]e that hath the spirit of contention is not of me, but is of the devil, who is the father of contention, and he stirreth up the hearts of men to contend with anger, one with another. Behold, this is not my doctrine, to stir up the hearts of men with anger, one against another, but this is my doctrine, that such things should be done away” (3 Nephi 11:29-30).
The pattern of unrighteous dominion becomes more visible as Laman and Lemuel’s anger escalates. Overt threats and physical violence are clear examples of using physical force to exert power and control — to intimidate and physically dominate others. “They did breathe out much threatenings against anyone that should speak for [Nephi]” when he was bound on the ship (1 Nephi 18:17). They hit Nephi with rods (1 Nephi 3:28), tied him up (1 Nephi 7:16, 18:11), and “treated (him) with much harshness”(1 Nephi 18:11).
We can see that in the above examples, Laman and Lemuel took the authority and power they had as the eldest sons in the family and used their leadership to undermine the authority of their father and Nephi. They sowed contention and discord. And their goal was not the protection and safety of their family, but their own power.
When the Lord intervenes
The Lord intervened in this story a few times, using the minimal influence necessary to further his purposes — to get Lehi and his family to the promised land with records and spouses. As Laman and Lemuel hardened their hearts and became progressively less sensitive to spiritual influence, the interventions became more intense — till the moment on the ship when “there was nothing save it were the power of God, which threatened them with destruction, could soften their hearts” (1 Nephi 18:20).
With Laman and Lemuel, as with us, the Lord most frequently uses gentle persuasion to help us see that his plan — his way — is best. He entices us to come and partake of the fruit of the tree, “desirable to make one happy” (1 Nephi 8:10), he provides immediate consequences — good and bad so we can learn from our actions (think Liahona!), and he encourages with sweet whisperings and strengthening power from the Holy Ghost. Still, our gift of agency allows us to choose whether to act in accordance with his desires. We are not hardwired to automatically believe truth or angels or even the voice of God. Our belief and faith are always choices.
Unfortunately, we are at risk of repeating Laman and Lemuel’s behavior. “We have learned by sad experience that it is the nature and disposition of almost all men [and women], as soon as they get a little authority, as they suppose, they will immediately begin to exercise unrighteous dominion” (D&C 121:39). When we are frequently critical, resort to name calling, exercise physical or emotional power or control, or act in ways that are disrespectful and unkind, we are following Satan’s plan.
The Lord loves us. He allows us to act for ourselves, to maximize our spiritual growth even though this means some of his children use their agency to hurt themselves and those around them. The Lord and his prophets — ancient and modern — understand that leading by inspiration, encouragement, patience, and love preserves the agency of Heavenly Father’s children, creates joyful unity, and promotes his plan for their growth and happiness.
Lisa Hains Barker is a mother of three and a clinical neuropsychologist working in Colorado. She obtained her bachelor’s degree in psychology from Bryn Mawr College and her PhD in clinical psychology from Brigham Young University. She is currently serving as the Young Women president in her ward. She enjoys hiking, writing, paddle boarding, yoga, and spending time with her family.
