Sabbath Devotional :: A New Year

“The problem of pain, of war and the horror of war, of poverty and disease is always confronting us. But a God who allows no pain, no grief, also allows no choice. There is little unfairness in a colony of ants, but there is also little freedom. We human beings have been given the terrible gift of free will, and this ability to make choices, to help write our own story, is what makes us human, even when we make the wrong choices, abusing our freedom and the freedom of others.” — Madeleine L’Engle, in “Walking on Water: Reflections on Faith & Art”

L’Engle continues: “Jesus, too, had to make choices, and in the eyes of the world some of his choices were not only contrary to acceptable behavior, but were foolish in the extreme. He bucked authority by healing on the Sabbath; when he turned his steps towards Jerusalem he was making a choice which led him to Calvary.

“It is the ability to choose which makes us human.”

As agency is such a central tenet of our faith, I always love when a writer I admire writes about agency in ways that resonate deeply with my understanding of the gospel of Jesus Christ. L’Engle’s words are clear-eyed and affirming of this most important ability of our human life. I recently spent a week visiting family and friends in Utah and stayed with my cousins, including my cousin and her 18-month old daughter. I am a single adult and any time I spend around small children always feels like a novelty for that reason (which is perhaps not very relatable, but my life experience is what it is!). My cousin studied early childhood education in college and has also worked in that field professionally, and I love seeing the ways her professional background have informed her perspective and approach as a mother. I video chat with her and her daughter fairly regularly, but spending days in their company was a very different experience that I really treasured. Her daughter is still so little, but already very vocal and talkative. My cousin communicates clearly and effectively with her and involves her in the decisions that shape her young life. I loved watching her at work as a mom and I admired the way she was helping shape her daughter’s experience while providing a place of safety and love from which to explore the world and scaffold her increasingly expansive choices and agency as she gets to know the world and her place in it.

So much of our lives is practice for the future — the Atonement affords us opportunities to try again and I have always personally subscribed to Anne Shirley/Miss Stacey’s aphorism (from L.M. Montgomery’s “Anne of Green Gables”) that “Tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it. . . yet.” I read another beautiful and compelling novel recently that explored ideas of time travel and ultimately revealed a very beautiful and redemptive conclusion, with forgiveness and hope as the motivating factors in shaping our futures. I am grateful for opportunities to try, and then to try again when I inevitably fail, my human foibles getting the best of me much of the time. At the start of the new year, many of us are likely considering goals and resolutions. I was talking with a friend recently who prefers the approach of “loose intentions” — giving more grace for falling short or adjusting as changing life circumstances might require. I love this approach and I think it is a beautiful way of projecting hope into the future as we take action in our lives.