The Power of Real Humility

Humility is not the absence of confidence or the act of putting yourself or others down. Humility is recognizing from where you get your strength. Whether you think that you can do everything on your own or that you can do nothing at all — that is pride. Humility is being confident because of the Lord.

I wrote that summation on my mission. Humility, when properly understood, is such a beautiful, inspiring, and power-giving principle. And yet, sadly, it’s a topic that has been so distorted within both our Christian and American cultures.

Two stories illustrate this misconstruction for me.

Story one: I was in Primary when a boy said he was good at playing soccer — somebody cried out, “You’re really good at humility too.” Almost everybody laughed, and the statement was left uncorrected. If anything, the teacher endorsed it by choosing that moment to shift the conversation to talk about the importance of humility. The message was clear: Humble people don’t say they are good at things. This wasn’t a lesson about the difference between healthy confidence and arrogance. Just a simple, humble people are quiet about their strengths.

Story two: I know a wonderful woman who is an incredible pianist, but for a long time whenever somebody complimented her on her piano playing, she would demur, saying, “Oh, I’m not good at piano.” After hearing her say this a few times, I asked her why she always said this when she practiced for upwards of two hours a day and was a wonderful pianist. She replied, “Because I’m trying to be humble.” You can’t be humble and admit your strengths. You can’t be humble and use power. You can’t be humble and, well, fill in the blank. She was a young adult, but the false message was still internalized.

The world has tried to distort this wonderful principle of humility into the inability to recognize our strengths, have a healthy self-esteem, and use our gifts to better the world. As Elder Neal A. Maxwell said, “Meekness [a close sister to humility], however, is more than self-restraint, it is the presentation of self in a posture of kindness, serenity, and a healthy self-esteem and self-control.” These are all things our Heavenly Parents want so desperately for us to have and to develop and to use to better the world. Not to demean ourselves or others.

Likewise, this false definition of humility doesn’t teach that true humility is also submission, recognizing God’s will, and trusting he has given us the tools we need to accomplish what he calls us to do or that he will help us develop them. We don’t have to be perfect to show up. As Sister Anne C. Pingree said, “As we humbly submit our will to the Lord’s, we find that our weaknesses can indeed become sources of strength if we put our trust in Him.”

The watered-down version of humility helps nobody, it lifts nobody, it serves nobody — and, worst of all, it harms ourselves and others in the process. Conversely, when we show up vibrantly with our strength and recognize it’s something God has given us, helped us develop, or wants us to use or develop to better the world, that is when we are truly fulfilling the noble work each of us has been called to do. As Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf states: “Perhaps it is true that [I am] weak. Perhaps [I am] not wise or mighty, but when God works through [me], no one and nothing can stand against [me].”