Are You Aware? Eyes That See

This is part II in our “Internalizing Empathy” Awareness Wednesday series.

Christ described our eyes as the lamp of the body. How we see our world determines how we live, the path we choose, and how we spend our time. Empathy is developed through the lens we use to see those around us.

A few years ago, one of our sons, Marshall, was diagnosed with a life-threatening condition. He would suffer in pain for several years, only to die young from his incurable condition. It was difficult to watch his struggles.

It was not an obvious disability, and some thoughtless comments by others reminded me of the man born blind in Christ’s day. People asked, “Who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?” Dividing the world into those God looks kindly on and those who deserve what they get by claiming someone must have sinned robs us of our empathy and gives us inexcusable reasons for withholding compassion.

I was grateful to Marshall’s bishopric. Knowing he had a difficult path and being aware of some misguided judging, they made sure someone talked to Marshall and checked on him each and every Sunday. He had no idea it was a planned effort. He just knew that he had good friends in his bishopric who cared about him. Their seemingly small effort had a huge positive impact on his mental health and outlook.

When he eventually passed away, my grief was deep and intense. I remember talking to one of my daughters in a self-pity “Why me?” type of conversation. She reminded me of a scripture I had taught my children many times over the years.

In every thing give thanks.
1 Thessalonians 5:18

As I looked for anything to be grateful for, I realized that each small act of help and kindness nursed my profound heartache. It helped me see my world with new eyes and new vision.

By practicing gratitude in the midst of this tragedy, I gained new empathy and understanding for others with devastating life challenges. I realized how little control I have over many of our life circumstances. It gave me the strength to reach out, find new volunteer opportunities, and help others in an effort to relieve suffering.

As time passed, I learned that we can take our deepest wounds and turn them into compassionate empathy that motivates us to help others heal. It was a life-altering experience for me.

Must we experience a tragic event before we develop empathy? Research suggests that the answer is no. Profound gratitude is key to developing empathy. In our brains, empathy and gratitude are connected. Only when we utterly understand and appreciate what we have can we appreciate and understand what someone else is lacking.

Through gratitude we can develop “eyes that see and ears that hear” more of the world around us, thus allowing us to develop the empathy and compassion to make a difference.