Are You Aware? Coming to an Understanding

This is part I in our Awareness Wednesday series on disability. Read the other posts in the series here.

A few weeks ago my son returned from his mission in Argentina due to the coronavirus. While he waits for reassignment, we have enjoyed having him home and hearing about his experiences. He was in Argentina for six months. It was just enough time to learn Spanish and become moderately fluent. He spoke about how homesick he was throughout those first weeks and months. It was incredibly hard to not understand the language. He is a smart kid who is very gifted with words. The inability to share his thoughts and participate in conversations was incredibly humbling. Thankfully, this obstacle could be overcome with a lot of hard work and focus.

My sister’s world is very different. She lives in a world where words often do not make sense — they are foreign to her. It is not a language she knows or understands. My sister has dyslexia. From a young age she had trouble with reading; she just couldn’t get the hang of it. She once expressed how exhausting it is to live in a world that depends upon words. For her, every word is a struggle. Street signs, emails, books, forms, songs, scriptures, texting are all a struggle — a reminder that she struggles.

As my sister entered adulthood, people were not as patient with her disability. Filling out paperwork in doctor’s offices was embarrassing. The few times she would work up the courage to ask for help, she would receive eye rolls and snarky remarks, “Can’t you read? It is pretty self-explanatory.” It is tiring always having to explain why you need help, why you can’t read.

As a young mother, she worked hard to memorize Dr. Seus books so she could read to her children. Eventually, they tired of the same two books. She learned to tell stories, she learned to adapt. Adapting is the secret power of those with disabilities. Their Herculean efforts to “appear normal” take great effort and intellectual skill.

I will never fully understand the mental exhaustion my sister deals with when replying to a teacher’s email. I will never fully understand the frustration and anguish of not being able to help my children with homework. The simple joy of reading a book all day is not something she will ever know. Thankfully, there is technology that helps, and voice commands are amazing tools! Yet, no matter the technological advancements, this world will always feel a little bit foreign for my sister, like a language in which she will never fully become fluent.

This month we will be taking a closer look at disabilities. We hope that as we are exposed to new information and share our experiences we may learn from one another. It is said that to truly understand someone, we must spend some time in their shoes to appreciate their journey. We invite you to join with us on that journey.