Sabbath Devotional :: His Grace Is Sufficient (Even When We Are Not)

grace - Mormon Women for Ethical Government — .

This fall, our stake leaders made a great effort to prepare members to receive personal revelation at the upcoming stake conference. A member of the Seventy would be presiding at the conference, and he had recommended four general conference talks for us to study beforehand. Stake members received these talks in advance on a Sunday when high councilors spoke in sacrament meetings about the blessings of attending stake conference. Wards reached out to help organize babysitting so parents could attend the Saturday evening session. We were asked to prayerfully come with personal questions — with the promise that they would be answered. We were supported and encouraged in making ourselves ready.

I began to prepare. About ten days before the conference, I invited a single mother in the ward to attend the conference with me since my husband would be out of town. Then, for family home evening the Monday before the conference, our family watched one of President Nelson’s talks from the list we’d been given. We had also recently read one of the other talks as part of a challenge from the full-time missionaries. I gave thought to what was challenging me right now and what blessings I was looking for in my life. While I didn’t really pray fervently about those thoughts, with two of those conference talks checked off the list I was feeling like I was on track for preparing for stake conference.

And then the rest of the week hit. Tuesday was full of errands and shuttling kids in several directions. My husband flew to China early Wednesday morning, and I spent the next few days doing all the parental stuff — carpools, dinner, soccer practices, violin lessons, bedtime, etc. — without my partner. Saturday arrived, and by early evening I was hurriedly getting dinner on the table and changing into a skirt so I could get out the door.

We made it to the stake center in time to sit quietly and chat before the meeting began. A woman in my ward gave the opening prayer. It was beautiful. She invited the Spirit into that meeting in a powerful and specific way. She asked that the work we had all done to prepare for the meeting would be honored and that the concerns we had brought in our hearts would be addressed. Had I not been bowing my head and trying to remain reverent, I would have had one of those moments where my head popped back in surprised recognition. I had completely forgotten about the directive to come to this meeting with specific questions and problems — and the promise that they would be answered either through the speakers or through the personal whisperings of the Holy Ghost.

My heart fell as I tried to push away creeping feelings of guilt about forgetting. “You have missed an opportunity, Jillaire,” I told myself. I just knew this meeting was not going to be all it could have been because I had not met my side of the deal to have the promises fulfilled. I decided to just try to be open to the Holy Ghost and knew I could at least leave the meeting feeling uplifted and happy for being where I should be, even if the full potential of the evening wouldn’t be realized.

What happened instead is a testament to God’s love for us and of His desire to bless us even when our efforts are imperfect. One of the concerns I had brought with me had to do with something somewhat temporal that I did not think would be the subject of anyone’s talk. Surely, any answers to those questions would come only in private spiritual promptings. And now, due to my lack of prayerful preparation, nothing would come for me that night. But I was wrong. The presiding speaker shared a scripture that spoke directly to me and to what I needed to do to face this particular challenge. I was shocked.

My second concern had to do with a relationship with a family member. While it is something that is ever-present in my thoughts and prayers, I still didn’t feel like I’d done my due diligence for this meeting and was skeptical about whether or not I would receive any inspiration about it. I was shocked again. As the member of the Seventy concluded his talk, he pronounced a blessing upon the congregation. It was direct and powerful: He began each sentence with, “I bless you. . . .” I was blessed to be able to understand this family member, to know what it’s like to walk in their shoes, and, as a result, to become closer to them. This was not a solution I had considered, but when he spoke those words, I knew they were directed to my concerns.

I also knew they were not deserved. I had not “earned” them by my preparation. And yet, God had seen me sitting there with a desire in my heart — only rekindled since that opening prayer — and let me know He was still willing to guide me and give me peace in my struggles. It was a reminder that our efforts really never can be enough, nor need they be. We need our Savior to make our efforts whole. That is why He atoned for us. His grace is sufficient, most especially when we are not.