Sabbath Devotional :: Deep Waters

Water has always been powerful imagery for me. There have been times in my life when I have felt like these words from David could be my own:

“Save me, O God; for the waters are come in unto my soul. I sink in deep mire, where there is no standing: I am come into deep waters, where the floods overflow me.” (Psalms 69:1-2)

During the most difficult times of my life, the word that has most often come to mind to describe my experience has been the word “drowning.” The feelings of helplessness, suffocating, crushing weight pressing down on my chest, sinking deeper and deeper as waves of heartache, grief, or despair crash upon me.

I know that these feelings are not unique to me. Anyone who has experienced devastating loss, debilitating depression, a deeply wounded spirit or a broken heart has probably experienced similar feelings.

Sometimes when I have felt as if I am drowning in these deep waters, I have thought of the story of Peter walking on the water towards Christ, until he became fearful and started to sink. I have wondered why I can’t figuratively walk on the water. Why do I find myself sinking? Is my faith too weak? Am I not focused enough on the Savior? Yet my attempts to focus entirely on Jesus Christ and hold tightly to faith have often not appeared to deliver me from the depths or bring immediate relief.

Through much time and experience, I have learned that these deep waters are not a place of punishment or failure, but that they are sacred and sanctifying. One of my favorite hymns says it well:

When through the deep waters I call thee to go,

The rivers of sorrow shall not thee o’erflow,

For I will be with thee, thy troubles to bless,

And sanctify to thee thy deepest distress.

(How Firm a Foundation, verse 4)

My time in deep waters has indeed become sacred and sanctifying. The word sanctify means “to make holy; set apart as sacred; consecrate.” How have the most deeply distressing times in my life become holy and sacred? Here are a few ways that I have seen the sanctifying power of my deep waters:

The deep waters have filled me with compassion and empathy for others. Having been in that place of darkness and drowning myself, I am quick to feel concern and compassion for anyone else who is struggling. I am less likely to jump to simplistic solutions or assume that they have brought this on themselves. I am less likely to condemn or judge or turn away.

The deep waters have given me a much greater awareness of others and the fact that people all around me are struggling in ways that I cannot see or understand. Sometimes injuries and needs are visible. More often, they are not. I have come to understand that there are a multitude of reasons why people don’t feel as if they can ask for help or explain what is going on in their lives. We simply do not know what others are dealing with. Knowing this helps me to be more gentle, more forgiving, and more gracious when I feel that others are not meeting my expectations.

Finally, perhaps the most sanctifying purpose of the deep waters has been to make me better acquainted with the Savior’s grace. These four words have been etched into my heart: His grace is sufficient (see 2 Corinthians 12:9, Ether 12:27, Moroni 10:32). However weak I may feel, however deep the water may be, His grace is there. His grace is enough. Enough to take care of all my weaknesses, all my failings, all my shortcomings, all my mistakes, all my wounds, all my pain.

His grace is sufficient for me. His grace is sufficient for you.

The account in the Book of Mormon of the Jaredites crossing the ocean to a new land has spoken to me in many ways, on many occasions. But there are two verses that have spoken directly to me again and again. These verses are speaking of a literal deep-sea voyage, but I have found that they are equally applicable to my figurative journey through the deep waters of life:

“For behold, ye shall be as a whale in the midst of the sea; for the mountain waves shall dash upon you. Nevertheless, I will bring you up again out of the depths of the sea; for the winds have gone forth out of my mouth, and also the rains and the floods have I sent forth. And behold, I prepare you against these things; for ye cannot cross this great deep save I prepare you against the waves of the sea, and the winds which have gone forth, and the floods which shall come.” (Ether 2:24-25)

However deep and dark the waters may be at times, He has “prepared [us] against these things,” and He will not leave us. Our voyage through the deep can become a sacred and sanctifying experience, if we will turn our hearts to Him and rely on His grace.